Will my life pay me back?

Every Tuesday and Thursday I rush to my second job-private tutoring which is a top secret. As soon as I finish my work I hurried to my home, changed into a comfortable outfit and eating dinner at the same time.
My dinner can be leftovers, Kimbap or some bread. Chewing food hard, I keep telling myself  'My life will pay me back. I will be rewarded with an economically safe furture.' However, I can't stop wondering if it will really happen. WHAT IF NOT?

I've always been told that even if you are too uptight and work hard hoping your life will be better, your life will be same.

I'm scared. Since I'm married, my husband and me have worked so hard.  We've saved money more than we'd expected. We've hardly eaten out. We've hardly done shopping. We've hardly bought things.

My life should pay me back. That's why I'm working hard. Without any expectation, it is very difficult to do something hard.  However,I'm still scared. My parents,who have sacrificed themselves for the better life, are still far beyond what they've expected.

If this is the life what we all should have, it discourages me.